Thanksgiving

We had a fantastic Thanksgiving yesterday!  The kids were even better than we expected!  We spent the day at my aunt's house about an hour away from home.  My family's pretty big, so there were lots of people there (40ish, and we were missing quite a few families!).  There were lots of people to play with and chat with and the kids had a blast.  Everyone ate well, napped great, and had wonderful attitudes.  Miss Mya was quite a handful, keeping her away from other people's plates and just keeping her contained, but that's nothing new around here!

Here are some pictures:

Aunt Julie's kind of a celebrity around our house... Not even kidding...

Jeremy went upstairs to rock Anna to sleep.  After about 15 minutes, I went up there assuming she was being a challenge and ready to relieve him.  Not so much.  They both napped for almost 2 hours!  As did the other 3 kiddos.  The only one who missed out on the nap was me...

Mya in her confinement so she couldn't steal every one else's food.

He looked like such a big boy sitting in the big chair!

All ready for the ride home in their jammies!  Anna declared that we were having a "thanksgivin pajama party!"

On Wednesday we had a visit with the girls' case worker, her supervisor, and our case worker (and intern).  They came to have us sign our "permanency commitment" sheet.  Basically they can now show the courts that they are proceeding with a permanency plan for the girls and the courts simply have to approve it (merely a state formality).  The case workers were so surprised by how happy the girls were.  And it makes me very sad that they've never seen them happy before.  I hope we can turn their sad (thusfar) childhood into happy memories. 

She said the girls seem to be thriving in our home and is so happy that they have found permanency for them.  She was shocked to hear that we haven't had any challenges with aggression or defiance.  Seriously, Agnes in particular has been a total sweetheart to have as a daughter.  She has moments where she drives us crazy (mostly because she asks a zillion questions about everything and has a hard time not talking nonstop) but they're moments and actually, it's a blessing that she can't stop talking.  That's apparently not typical of her and it shows that she feels like she can really be herself in our home.  She's a typical 3 year old who is very independent and smart.  We have to remind her that we're the parents and she's the kid and she doesn't have to worry about adult things.  I think it's a relief to her that she no longer has to worry about stuff.  She can just be a kid and not focus on being a "mom" to her little sister and herself.

We also got the green light to call her Agnes.  So we've started calling her that and she loves it.  She's responded just fine.  It worked out nicely, since her baptism is this weekend.  We've told her all along that we will baptize her as Agnes, so the timing works out well.  She kind of assumes that when we get baptized, our name changes.



And, as is our tradition, we took our Christmas card picture today!  We hung our stockings last night and the kids were so excited to see them.  My mom got them all matching Christmas outfits and they look seriously adorable!  We just can't believe how our fireplace has changed in the last 2 1/2 years!

Updates

Lots going on, little time to sit down and type it all out!  But I'm trying to make time, if nothing else so I can journal our lives in this crazy time!  So bullet points it is for now!

1) We got Anna's ears pierced tonight!  We noticed that Agnes and Mya had theirs pierced and just this week, I got around to putting earrings in their ears.  Since then it's all Anna can talk about.  She so badly wanted "pretties" in her ears and she was constantly asking me to "get Anna's ears pinched!"  So we thought we could treat her since she's been through a lot of change in the last month and she seemed to have no issues with the fact that it might hurt.  Let me tell you, that girl is tough!  She didn't cry or even flinch.  I had my phone out for her to play with and frankly, she was totally focused on that.  As long as the lady wasn't interfering with her phone playing, she was fine.  She picked out some cute start earrings to put in and she can't stop talking about her "pinched ears".  Agnes is excited for her, she keeps saying that now all the girls have earrings in! 

2) A few people asked how the name change is going for Agnes.  We haven't actually started calling her that yet.  It's a violation of our foster care license to call them anything but their legal names without consent from their case worker.  We see her on Wednesday, so we'll ask then.  But we've talked about it with Agnes and she's excited.  We tied it in with her Baptism, since we'll baptize her as Agnes.  She talks about it all the time and asks us to call her Agnes.

3) Speaking of Baptisms, they're being baptized on Saturday!  They're really excited, both are particularly excited to wear the pretty white dresses.  It will be a really wonderful day!

4) When they're case worker comes Wednesday, we're signing the "Commitment to Permanency" paperwork.  Basically, we're putting in writing what we've known all along.  They're ours and they're here to stay.  We're stressing this with Agnes as she's very leery of anyone sticking with her.  In her experience, just when she starts to trust people, she gets sent away.  We're being very clear about our intentions of adopting her and this being her forever home.

5) We got some snow last week!  It seems so early for winter weather, but already I've gotten quick at putting coats on/taking them off in the car and getting kids in and out of places all bundled up. It wasn't much snow, but the kids loved it anyway and can't stop talking about it!

5) This little lady is quite the handfull around here!  Toddler doesn't even begin to describe her!  She's IN TO EVERYTHING!  And climbs, oh my does she climb!  Such a change from my lazy son....  But isn't she just so sweet?  We call her "destructogirl" or sometimes just "the bull".  She's stubborn and destructive and we love her to pieces.  But man does she make me want to sit on the couch by the end of the night!

6) This little guy cracks us up.  He knows how to run the dishwasher and does so 3-4 times a day.  I've gotten quick at the "reset" button and Jeremy and I are constantly asking each other if we ran it or if he did.  And when we're loading it, he likes to lay under it like a mechanic...

7) These two are best buds.  And they're double trouble.  So goofy!  Here they were making my parents an anniversary card and Agnes kept exclaiming "Happy University grandma and grandpa!"

8) Hair.  Oh my!  All that hair!  Today was a hair day, so we basically spent all day in front of the TV (luckily it only happens once every few weeks!).  A and M are getting better about sitting still and letting me do it.  Although Mya still thinks the comb is equivalent to a razor coming at her head.  They look pretty cute with their beads.  And I can't believe how long Anna's hair has gotten!  That girl has A LOT of hair!

 

9) Things are crazy around here.  We're pretty settled into a good routine and the kids are being really good.  There are certainly challenges each and every day but overall everyone's adjusted well and it feels like we've been a family of 6 for forever!  I'm still trying to figure out how to keep up with housework with 4 young ones underfoot, but it takes time. 

10)  We're so very thankful for the gift of our children.  We are excited for lots of family to meet them this weekend, especially my brother in law and his new fiance!  And we're thankful we get to have them baptized so soon!  We just feel so blessed by our four beautiful children.  It's more than we could've ever asked for.  I go to bed each night thanking God that this is my life.

Meeting the girls and Welcoming them home

I want to document all of this while it's still fresh.  The girls have been home just shy of a month and it feels like they've always been here.  It's certainly taken time to adjust, but we all feel so comfortable as a family of 6 now.  

We were obviously very excited to meet our new daughters.  We found out about them on Wednesday and were scheduled to meet them on Monday.  The time in between was LONG and it was hard to know they were our girls but we couldn't meet them yet.

So it was finally time and we drove the hour to where their previous foster parents lived and we waited for them to come.  When they showed up, they both acted shy at first.  After a little while, Mya warmed up to me and let me hold her and play with her.  Once Mya warmed up to me, Agnes did too.  I read her a few books and she was soon playing with all of us.  Anna and Agnes clicked right away and Agnes couldn't stop talking about her new friend "Annie".  It was pretty sweet.  We played with them for a while and the case worker slipped out so that we could have some time alone with the girls.

Agnes and I

Daddy and his four babies!

We also got to meet the girls' younger sister.  She's 5 months old.  Her case is likely to move towards parental rights being terminated due to the circumstances, so we hope that it moves quickly.  In Illlinois, children have to be in foster care for 9 months before than can move towards TPR.  She's 5 months (and 5 months in care) so we have some time before that would even begin.  We would obviously be their first choice if her rights are terminated also.  It was great to meet her and her foster mom and we look forward to getting the girls together again soon.

When it was time to leave, it was super hard to leave them.  We helped get them in the case worker's car so that she could take them back to their foster parents' for the night.  Both girls cried when we put them in the car and my heart about broke into pieces.  I couldn't wait for them to come home.


The next day, they were due to arrive around 3:30.  It was SOOOO hard to wait!!!  The anticipation just about did me in!  It was so strange the way they were just dropped off.  It was a very surreal experience.  Their case worker literally brought them in, carried their stuff in (a whole van and truck full, yikes!) and asked if we had any questions.  She left without any kind of instructions or anything.  We went through some of their stuff to find the important things and then were a little bit like "now what?"  It actually was similar to how Anna came home.  We picked her up, we brought her home and kind of looked at each other and smiled...

That evening we took a walk and played in the playroom.  They all went to bed nicely and we sat down to go through some of their stuff.

Our full table :-).  Notice Minnie Mouse got a prime seat too!

Fast friends

Pushing 1, wearing 1, walking with 2.

The stuff they came with.  A lot of it has made its way back out of the house.  They really didn't have many nice things and most of their toys were trashed or missing lots of pieces.  We have SOOO many toys, so we kind of tested things to see if they were super attached and got rid of a lot.  Same with clothes.  Most of their clothes were WAY old and not in good condition.  We have a ton for Mya from Anna's old clothes and Anna and Agnes wear the same size, so Anna's overflowing closet was perfect. 

It has been incredibly overwhelming going from 2 to 4, but the transition is going very well.  Logistically, there's a lot we've had to figure out.  They're all so young that everything takes a lot of preplanning (my forte thank goodness!) and lots of organization (also a strength of mine).  It has been made easier by so many friends and family bringing dinners (I haven't made dinner yet since they came home!), giving us a nice carseat, fun matching outfits for the girls, and just being overall wonderful and supportive.  We have such a beautiful network of family and friends, the girls certainly feel loved here. 


And the way God orchestrated all of this is just overwhelming.  Right down to family pictures.  We happened to have family pictures scheduled for that Saturday after the girls came home.  They'd been scheduled for a long time.  We had no idea how important and necessary those family pictures would be.  Getting Agnes' picture on the wall has been such a beautiful way for her to feel at home.  She thanks me regularly for putting her pictures on the wall.  Who wouldn't want that beautiful girl on their wall?

Agnes (3)

Anna (2 1/2)

Anthony (18 mo)

Mya (16 mo)

Update

Things are going well around here.  We're adjusting to live with 4 children.  It's complete chaos most of the time.  And bedtime is a nice reprieve.  We're still in survival mode and will be for a while.  Friends keep bringing meals which has been AMAZING and we have 2-3 weeks worth of meals in the freezer from friends and family, so that has helped tremendously.

I'll update kid by kid so you get an idea of what's happening around here.

Agnes is adjusting quite well.  We know she had some behavior challenges in her previous home.  We also know many of them stemmed from not listening/obeying.  Sure, she has trouble listening and obeying often.  However, so does Anna.  We're not finding it to be more of a challenge than we expected.  She's 3.  3 year olds don't generally listen and obey right away every time.  So a lot of my day is spent reminding her of instructions.  Reminding her of appropriate behaviors.  Reminding her to use her inside voice. Praising those who are listening and obeying right away so that she catches on.  Well, pretty much sounds like when I worked in a 3 year old room at the day care, nothing too out of the ordinary for that age group.  She is very attention seeking, so we've carved out some times where she gets 1 on 1 attention each day.  That's helped a lot.  And we're reminding her a lot to only worry about herself, not what others are doing/saying/getting, etc...  She asks about a billion questions a day and we're learning quickly when she's actually being curious (we answer those, no problem) and when she's just trying to get attention (and then we generally try to redirect or remind her that it's not an appropriate time to ask those questions).  Overall, she's a very smart girl and she loves to color, draw, play, read, and hang out with Anna.  She's very sweet and loving and she makes us smile and laugh a lot.  She's incredibly interested in all things God/Church, and since we're starting from scratch in that area, it's been interesting to come up with answers for everything...  She's really excited to be named after Mother Teresa and she reminds me constantly that "Mother Resa's praying for me!  That I be good and listen and have fun and listen!"  (Can you tell we stress the listening part around here?)  She started preschool and really loves it.  I think it's been good for her to have that time away from the other three to do "older kid stuff" and I know it's been good for Anna in particular to have some of the extra attention back on her for those 4 hours a week. 

Anna is having the most challenging time adjusting.  Just as most 2 1/2 year olds do when siblings are introduced to the family, regardless of their ages.  She's trying to find where she fits in all of this.  She's having a LOT of meltdowns, tantrums, whatever you want to call them.  She's an emotional child to begin with and it's been magnified by about 100 in the last few weeks.  We're working on reminding her of good ways to get attention and also carving out 1 on 1 time with her too.  She loves Agnes in particular and they were fast friends.  They can play together for a very long time with minimal fights over toys.  Anna's vocabulary has gone through the roof with a 3 year old in the house and she's cracking us up with the things she says.  I think in a few weeks her emotions will calm down a bit and she'll be a little less dramatic.  She's always had a drama side, so I know it won't go away, but maybe less would be nice.  She's adjusting fine overall, nothing we didn't expect.  She loves sharing a room now and is doing much better falling asleep than she was at first.  She too makes us laugh a thousand times a day.  She's the cutest, sweetest little girl I've ever seen and many times a day I find myself giving her a big hug cause she's so darn cute, despite her tantrums.

Anthony's pretty much the same happy Anthony.  He thinks having two new sisters is like winning the lottery.  Mya in particular.  When he wakes up, he asks for Mya instantly.  He's still happy all the time.  And he's finally walking full time.  I've never seen a cuter walker.  Seriously adorable.  He talks nonstop and is recently obsessed with buses.  It's like Christmas when there's a school bus outside!  He couldn't be friendlier and he attracts a crowd everywhere he goes.  He hasn't even noticed the transition, and frankly, I don't know that he ever will.  The child's as chill as you can get.  What a beautiful reprieve from all of these drama filled girls!  I daily thank God for the blessing of my calm Anthony and the patience he brings out of me.

Finally, Mya.  She has definitely transitioned well.  Although we figured she would, being so young.  This little lady is a challenge though, let me tell you.  She is a toddler for sure.  She's into everything.  I was fairly confident that after 2 toddlers, our house was baby-proofed.  She's proving me wrong each and every day.  She climbs.  We joke that she's our little spiderman.  I catch her standing on the kitchen table or sitting on top of the changing table.  Or trying to yank our curtains down or scaling baby gates, etc...  There's not a challenge she won't accept.  She reminds me a lot of Anna... Not sure I'm ready for that.  She's also incredibly sweet and she loves her sisters and brother.  She kisses and hugs a lot.  She's very quiet most of the time (and sneaky!!!) but all of the sudden she'll say, "I love you mommy!" in the clearest voice you've ever heard.  The words are there, she just doesn't choose to speak much.  She's a rock star of a sleeper.  Wow, I thought Anna and Anthony were good sleepers.  They don't even come close.  She falls asleep (after begging to go nighnight) in seconds.  I literally lay her down and she's out.  It's amazing.  And we almost always have to wake her up in the morning.  She takes 3+ hour naps every afternoon, going down just as easily.  It's a dream.  She's sassy and fun and wildly entertaining and we joke that she leaves a path of destruction everywhere she goes.  She can destroy a room in seconds.  It's exhausting and wonderful all at the same time.

So there you have it.  They're all doing well, with Anna being our biggest challenge.  But then again, what's new?  I'm hoping that our diligence with behaviors now stifles any behaviors that Agnes may throw at us later.  We're being 100% consistent with all the kids at all times to show her and the other three that she won't get away with anything.  And we're giving out lots of hugs and reading tons and tons of books.  I'm cleaning up lots of dishes and seeing all those kid plates makes my heart happy.  When we walk up to go to bed in the evening, we both just stare at the 3 closed doors and smile.  What a blessing to have all of those bedrooms full of sleeping babies.  We thank God for these beautiful blessings and we look forward to the future with them.

Reminder and All Saint's Day

Just a reminder for those who missed it, I am making my blog private a week from today.  Email me at k.smallthingswithgreatlove@gmail.com if you'd like access. 

I've been incredibly surprised by the people that are reading and feel very blessed to have so many people praying for our family.  And equally humbled by the kind comments that our story has inspired or helped others through their infertility and/or adoption journey.  I'm glad people are reading and I don't have any problems granting access, I just feel the need to be a little more secure so that I can continue to share about our newest daughters as well as Anna and Anthony.  I've already got lots to blog about and I'm eager to continue to share our story with all of you.  So I apologize if it's a little bit of a pain.


I love All Saint's Day.  I think it's such a wonderful day to remind ourselves of what our earthly goal should be, to one day become a saint ourselves.  I love reading about the lives of the Saints and I really enjoy praying different novenas for the intercession of various saints.

As it's also the beginning of National Adoption Month, I thought I'd share a few saints in particular have interceded for our family, particularly in our adoptions.

St. Anne... Pray for us!  (We finished a St. Anne novena the day Anna was born.  We didn't know it yet, but 10 days later, we would find out about our sweet Anna and we know that St. Anne interceded for us.  Anna is named after her)

St. Clare... Pray for us!  (We loved learning about St. Clare while in Assisi and have since asked her for many prayers.  We feel she granted us great peace during our infertility challenges.  Anna is also named after her)

St. Anthony... Pray for us! (I ask St. Anthony for prayers lots, I'm always misplacing things!  We also learned a great deal about St. Anthony while in Italy and knew we'd always love to name a son after him and a very close priest friend of ours.  Anthony, obviously, is named after him)

St. Francis Xavier... Pray for us! (Francis was originally the name we had picked out for Anthony.  His birthmom, however, asked if she could give him his middle name.  After hearing Xavier was the name she chose, we knew St. Francis had a hand in that situation.  So Anthony Xavier it is!)

Blessed Mother Teresa... Pray for us! (The saint that I feel most drawn to is Mother Teresa.  I have always loved her humility and her desire to serve the poor, children in particular.  She's the person who I try to model every day and who this blog is named after.  We will be changing Agnea' name, it was not Agnes originally, and she will be named after her when she is baptized and then adopted)

St. Therese... Pray for us! (Jeremy and I prayed a St. Terese novena just a few weeks ago with the intention that we would have an adoption situation come our way soon.  Well, she obviously interceded for our family, as her feast day was just a few days before we found out about Agnes and Mya.  Mya will have Therese as her middle name when she's baptized and then adopted)


All you holy men and women, angels and saints... Pray for us!


**Oh, and did I mention that we got the green light to have them baptized?  They are not yet baptized and generally it's not allowable until their final adoption.  However, in our case, the caseworker approved it and we are so excited to have our girls baptized.