We did another Red Thread Session with our friend, Carissa. She once again did such a phenomenal job and I am overjoyed to have these precious pictures of our family! I don't know how to properly thank her for capturing our family so beautifully!!
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Family Pictures
To kick off my blog becoming public again, I thought I'd share the family pictures we received this week!
We did another Red Thread Session with our friend, Carissa. She once again did such a phenomenal job and I am overjoyed to have these precious pictures of our family! I don't know how to properly thank her for capturing our family so beautifully!!
We did another Red Thread Session with our friend, Carissa. She once again did such a phenomenal job and I am overjoyed to have these precious pictures of our family! I don't know how to properly thank her for capturing our family so beautifully!!
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
domain change
I will also be changing the domain. Please update your feeds. What was http://familyofheads.blogspot.com is now going to be:
http://stwglove.blogspot.com
Thanks!
I will change this next Wednesday, June 18.
http://stwglove.blogspot.com
Thanks!
I will change this next Wednesday, June 18.
Catch Up
I need to update this blog more frequently. A lot has happened lately. Things have been a little chaotic and life hasn't been very organized.
So... I'm hoping to do some major blog changes in the coming week.
We finalized Agnes and Mya's adoptions on Monday. We are thrilled that those are complete. Now that it's over and done with, I feel more comfortable sharing about our family.
I think I've decided to make my blog public again. I'm not a huge fan of it being private, I know there are people who've had troubles with it and I also know that there are lots of people who simply stopped following my blog once I made it private. That wasn't my intent, but it was necessary for those few months.
So in the next week or so, I'm going to try to make my blog a little "safer". I still plan on posting lots of pictures, that won't change. I will only use first names and I'm going to go through and edit and make sure our last name is no longer on the blog. Also any reference as to where we live will be removed.
Once I feel as though I've secured it a little more and made our lives less wide open to strangers, I'm going to update the look of the blog and then make it public again.
So bear with me. I have lots of posts to write, some that are already written and awaiting pictures. I really love keeping up with this digital scrapbook/journal of mine, but I need to feel more comfortable about the privacy of it.
Hopefully I will be writing regularly again very soon!
So... I'm hoping to do some major blog changes in the coming week.
We finalized Agnes and Mya's adoptions on Monday. We are thrilled that those are complete. Now that it's over and done with, I feel more comfortable sharing about our family.
I think I've decided to make my blog public again. I'm not a huge fan of it being private, I know there are people who've had troubles with it and I also know that there are lots of people who simply stopped following my blog once I made it private. That wasn't my intent, but it was necessary for those few months.
So in the next week or so, I'm going to try to make my blog a little "safer". I still plan on posting lots of pictures, that won't change. I will only use first names and I'm going to go through and edit and make sure our last name is no longer on the blog. Also any reference as to where we live will be removed.
Once I feel as though I've secured it a little more and made our lives less wide open to strangers, I'm going to update the look of the blog and then make it public again.
So bear with me. I have lots of posts to write, some that are already written and awaiting pictures. I really love keeping up with this digital scrapbook/journal of mine, but I need to feel more comfortable about the privacy of it.
Hopefully I will be writing regularly again very soon!
Friday, May 9, 2014
Quick Takes (63)
We have a court date!!! The girls will be officially adopted on June 9. I cannot wait. We had our final case worker visit tonight and I'm ecstatic!! I'm contemplating going "public" again at that point. But I'm still not sure....
We've had some interesting renovations going on over here. Basically, our upstairs main bathroom toilet overflowed. A piece broke and the water just kept filling the bowl. This went on for about an hour and a half while Jeremy and I were gone and my sister was at home with the kids (in the basement where she couldn't see/hear the overflow). We came home to water in our kitchen. There was a good 1-2 inches of water standing in our bathroom, seeping into the hallway carpet, and soaking the kitchen/bathroom ceiling on the main floor. It took 4 days of heavy duty fans and dehumidifiers from a water damage company to dry it out.
They had to rip out the bathroom flooring, toilet, and vanity. As well a carpet padding in the hallway and master bedroom. They also had to cut out a 3x3 foot chunk of drywall in the ceiling of our kitchen.
While they were here drying everything, we had two bathrooms out of comission. That was rough. Our master bathroom was the only one working and it is the size of a cardboard box... I will be overjoyed when it's all put back together next week. We're getting new tile, a new vanity and a new toilet. The tile is going in on Monday, so hopefully by Tuesday we have a function kids' bath again!
And as if that wasn't enough, last night our downstairs toilet did the same thing! Except we were home and Jeremy caught it. So the toilet we had purchased for the upstairs bathroom was installed downstairs. We now are purchasing another toilet...
We had a great time for Easter this year! Here's our family Easter morning!!
These kids just love to play outside! The weather's been awesome for the most part lately and the kids have been filthy by bedtime (making our bathroom situation even more challenging). They also love to dress up and be "princesses" all the time.
I've been sticking to my exercise routine nicely. It's been a great stress reliever for me. I'm also down 20 lbs! And I had a cholesterol follow-up with my dr. and my numbers are back in the normal range! So I feel pretty good about all of that. I'd still like to lose a lot more weight, but the fact that it is coming off is good. I went out and bought myself some new clothes last weekend and actually felt good trying stuff on because it fit me!
I'd like to keep updating more often and hopefully I can, but it's really hard to find the time. By naptime, I want a nap and by bedtime, I'm ready for bed... Basically I'm exhausted! :-)
For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Here's what Foster Care looks like for us...
We may be finalizing Agnes' and Mya's adoptions sooner than we thought! We were originally told August. Then last week, we were told late June at the latest. Now it's looking like it may be late May/early June!
A lot of people ask me about the whole process, so here's a little rundown as far as to what our foster-adopt journey here in Illinois looks like.
The girls were placed with us on October 15. Since TPR (termination of parental rights) had already occurred, once they're in our home six months, dcfs can begin the adoption approval process. So our agency was awesome and had all of their adoption packets filled out, signed, sealed and delivered to dcfs. We met with our lawyer to sign a bunch of stuff and go through the paperwork with a fine tooth comb to make sure everything was accurate and true. That way by April 15, all was ready to be approved. The packets were submitted to dcfs and received two weeks ago. Last week, we heard from our adoption worker that not only were they received, but dcfs was already reviewing them (a few days early even!).
Generally once adoption paperwork hits the dcfs desk, it takes them 4-6 weeks to get to them and review them. So this is moving quite quick. That's quite a surprise on our end, especially in our lovely, short on money, short on help state.
Once the adoption packets are approved, they get sent to the courts. The courts will then determine an adoption date. Usually a few weeks away.
If the adoptions packets are denied for whatever reason (usually a paperwork discrepancy) then they send them back to the lawyer and agency and they correct the issue. That could delay us months. But we're choosing to assume that all is in line :-).
While the children are considered foster children (before finalization), we have a monthly visit from their case worker. Last week, we got a call that our case worker has changed (no one seems to know what happened here, all they know is that all of our old case worker's files were transferred and no one knows what went on). Most of the time, when a new case worker is introduced, it's a hassle. The kids don't know the new one and there's no relationship there. However, in our case, it is actually a great thing.
Agnes gets incredibly nervous on and around the day of a case worker visit. Her prior case worker, N, was the one who had removed her from homes in the last and also the one who had dealt with much of her negative behavior and complaints from the previous home. Agnes didn't have the greatest association with N, despite really liking her and N being a very nice person. We stopped telling her ahead of time when N was coming to reduce some of those behavior that showed up around her visit. Agnes was always very challenging behaviorally when N would visit and then for the rest of the week afterwards. She told us many times that she was worried that N would take her away again.
We didn't see those behaviors today when our new cw, A, visited. Agnes didn't know her or have any previous relationship with her. She was a little on the wild side with her behavior, but that's typical when anyone comes to our house... She likes attention and is willing to be crazy to get it.
Also while they're considered foster children, they have permanency hearings every 6 months. We went to one in January and it was a super short hearing. In this case, the permanency goal (adoption) hasn't changed in a while. Basically these hearings are a way for the courts to stay up to date on what's going on and make sure that things are moving along in a timely manner (ha!! their idea of timely and mine are different!).
In addition to permanency hearings, there are ACRs (Administrative Case Reviews) every 6 months. We just had one last week. These are reviews with a DCFS reviewer who is like a 3rd party to make sure that all services are being followed through with. Most of the time, these meetings include case workers, foster parents, birth parents, and children. They discuss the birth parents' service plans and progress, foster parents' plans and services for the children, how the children are doing and any kind of services they've put in place for them, progress in school, how the children feel, etc...
Our case is a little different, since TPR has already occurred, there's no birth parent involvement at this point. The kids don't have any services in place, since they haven't needed any. They're not old enough to "testify" for themselves, but their case worker reported that they were happy and loved their home. Our case worker wasn't there, this was when whatever happened with her, happened. Her supervisor was there instead. It was quick and painless and the supervisor was thrilled to hear how wonderfully they're doing. The reviewer was equally as happy with things and put a recommendation to speed along the adoption process on their file.
I'm sure there are other things that happen with foster children, as far as court hearings and such, but since TPR had already occurred, we missed many of those steps. That's just a glimpse into what foster care entails. It's a ot of work, but it's totally worth it.
We also had our foster care license renewal visit this morning from our licensing worker, J. She's the same worker who placed Anna and Anthony with us and we've been working with her for 4 years now. We're keeping our license current in hopes that we get A and M's baby sister (still possible, although, I'm beginning to think it's not that likely).
We also don't know where God will lead us in the coming years. Maybe we are a family of 6 forever. Maybe not. Maybe we'll foster again, maybe we'll adopt again. Maybe not. We don't really know at this point and it's open for discussion down the road. Maybe we look into to NaPro for more answers as to our infertility, maybe not. For now we're focusing on finalizing these adoptions and surviving with four toddlers! We're loving every minute of it!
A lot of people ask me about the whole process, so here's a little rundown as far as to what our foster-adopt journey here in Illinois looks like.
The girls were placed with us on October 15. Since TPR (termination of parental rights) had already occurred, once they're in our home six months, dcfs can begin the adoption approval process. So our agency was awesome and had all of their adoption packets filled out, signed, sealed and delivered to dcfs. We met with our lawyer to sign a bunch of stuff and go through the paperwork with a fine tooth comb to make sure everything was accurate and true. That way by April 15, all was ready to be approved. The packets were submitted to dcfs and received two weeks ago. Last week, we heard from our adoption worker that not only were they received, but dcfs was already reviewing them (a few days early even!).
Generally once adoption paperwork hits the dcfs desk, it takes them 4-6 weeks to get to them and review them. So this is moving quite quick. That's quite a surprise on our end, especially in our lovely, short on money, short on help state.
Once the adoption packets are approved, they get sent to the courts. The courts will then determine an adoption date. Usually a few weeks away.
If the adoptions packets are denied for whatever reason (usually a paperwork discrepancy) then they send them back to the lawyer and agency and they correct the issue. That could delay us months. But we're choosing to assume that all is in line :-).
While the children are considered foster children (before finalization), we have a monthly visit from their case worker. Last week, we got a call that our case worker has changed (no one seems to know what happened here, all they know is that all of our old case worker's files were transferred and no one knows what went on). Most of the time, when a new case worker is introduced, it's a hassle. The kids don't know the new one and there's no relationship there. However, in our case, it is actually a great thing.
Agnes gets incredibly nervous on and around the day of a case worker visit. Her prior case worker, N, was the one who had removed her from homes in the last and also the one who had dealt with much of her negative behavior and complaints from the previous home. Agnes didn't have the greatest association with N, despite really liking her and N being a very nice person. We stopped telling her ahead of time when N was coming to reduce some of those behavior that showed up around her visit. Agnes was always very challenging behaviorally when N would visit and then for the rest of the week afterwards. She told us many times that she was worried that N would take her away again.
We didn't see those behaviors today when our new cw, A, visited. Agnes didn't know her or have any previous relationship with her. She was a little on the wild side with her behavior, but that's typical when anyone comes to our house... She likes attention and is willing to be crazy to get it.
Also while they're considered foster children, they have permanency hearings every 6 months. We went to one in January and it was a super short hearing. In this case, the permanency goal (adoption) hasn't changed in a while. Basically these hearings are a way for the courts to stay up to date on what's going on and make sure that things are moving along in a timely manner (ha!! their idea of timely and mine are different!).
In addition to permanency hearings, there are ACRs (Administrative Case Reviews) every 6 months. We just had one last week. These are reviews with a DCFS reviewer who is like a 3rd party to make sure that all services are being followed through with. Most of the time, these meetings include case workers, foster parents, birth parents, and children. They discuss the birth parents' service plans and progress, foster parents' plans and services for the children, how the children are doing and any kind of services they've put in place for them, progress in school, how the children feel, etc...
Our case is a little different, since TPR has already occurred, there's no birth parent involvement at this point. The kids don't have any services in place, since they haven't needed any. They're not old enough to "testify" for themselves, but their case worker reported that they were happy and loved their home. Our case worker wasn't there, this was when whatever happened with her, happened. Her supervisor was there instead. It was quick and painless and the supervisor was thrilled to hear how wonderfully they're doing. The reviewer was equally as happy with things and put a recommendation to speed along the adoption process on their file.
I'm sure there are other things that happen with foster children, as far as court hearings and such, but since TPR had already occurred, we missed many of those steps. That's just a glimpse into what foster care entails. It's a ot of work, but it's totally worth it.
We also had our foster care license renewal visit this morning from our licensing worker, J. She's the same worker who placed Anna and Anthony with us and we've been working with her for 4 years now. We're keeping our license current in hopes that we get A and M's baby sister (still possible, although, I'm beginning to think it's not that likely).
We also don't know where God will lead us in the coming years. Maybe we are a family of 6 forever. Maybe not. Maybe we'll foster again, maybe we'll adopt again. Maybe not. We don't really know at this point and it's open for discussion down the road. Maybe we look into to NaPro for more answers as to our infertility, maybe not. For now we're focusing on finalizing these adoptions and surviving with four toddlers! We're loving every minute of it!
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Picture Post
I finally had a chance to upload my hundreds of pictures from the last month. So here goes :-).
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| Swimming fun |
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| They love to dance! |
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| They love to watch :-). Anthony knows all the dance moves too. |
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| Finally getting warmer out! |
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| They love riding bikes and scooters! |
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| Yay for being outside after this winter craziness! |
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| Princess Anna and her Frog Prince ready for their birthday party. |
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| Mya at the discovery museum. |
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| Bubble display at the museum! Agnes was excited to be in the bubble. |
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| They like to wear their helmets around outside. Silly kids! |
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| Big kids at the park :-) |
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| I regularly find them like this in the mornings. Anna like to climb in with Agnes and "snuggle". |
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| Sisters and best friends. They love to match! |
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| Conked out after an exhausting Sunday Family Dinner! |
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| Princess and their prince. They dress up all the time. |
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| Very serious about the puzzle. She always lines the pieces up like that. |
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| Also concentrating very hard. |
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| Best buddies and cousins. |
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| My mom got the kids a few sets of matching outfits. They couldn't be cuter in them! |
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| They all got raincoats from various friends and were excited to wear them. |
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| She got quite the shiner from a tumble at the park... |
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| They're best friends one minute, fighting the next. There's no doubt they're sisters! |
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Finalizing
We got good news from our lawyer last week. It's looking like we may be able to finalize the girls' adoptions sooner than we expected. We were expecting July/August at the earliest. The lawyer is thinking more like June/July.
It would be awesome to have them finalized by my brother-in-law's wedding. It's out of state and we'd have to get permission for the 4 days we'll be gone. And we'd love to post pictures online of his wedding!!
Hopefully all goes quickly. The paperwork is all submitted and is waiting on DCFS approval which can't happen until at least the 15th (6 months since they moved in).
So we've been prepping Agnes a little bit for this. She knows we're adopting her but she's not entirely positive what that means. Basically, in her life, people promise to take care of her and then decide to send her somewhere else. So the final adoption means a lot to her and us.
We've been looking at pictures of Anna and Anthony's finalizations and talking about what it will be like and what they'll say/do during it. And also what it means for her in our family. The legal name change, her never having to leave again, no more visits from caseworkers (those make her understandably very nervous). She's excited.
But she's also under the impression that at her final adoption she'll change into a baby and get to basically start over. (Too much Cinderella and bibbity bobbity boo watching around here maybe) She tells us that she's sad she missed out on being in our family when she was a baby and she wants to "try again."
I'm not entirely sure how to get through to her that it's okay. That we wish she'd been here as a baby too, but we're happy to have her now as a 3 year old. Her past isn't something she likes to talk about, it's been pretty traumatic, and it's hard stuff to swallow for me, a an adult. So it's obviously hard for her to put it all together.
I hate that her first 3 years were not happy years. We hear from her case worker and her baby sister's foster family that it's so nice to see her happy. She talks about being a baby and crying a lot and being scared. I'm sure it's healthy for her to work through some of that, but it's super hard to hear out of my 3 year old's mouth.
So we are looking forward to a finalization day and a chance for her to put her past behind her and feel secure in her home. She likes to say, "I never never have to leave." I think she's starting to believe it.
It would be awesome to have them finalized by my brother-in-law's wedding. It's out of state and we'd have to get permission for the 4 days we'll be gone. And we'd love to post pictures online of his wedding!!
Hopefully all goes quickly. The paperwork is all submitted and is waiting on DCFS approval which can't happen until at least the 15th (6 months since they moved in).
So we've been prepping Agnes a little bit for this. She knows we're adopting her but she's not entirely positive what that means. Basically, in her life, people promise to take care of her and then decide to send her somewhere else. So the final adoption means a lot to her and us.
We've been looking at pictures of Anna and Anthony's finalizations and talking about what it will be like and what they'll say/do during it. And also what it means for her in our family. The legal name change, her never having to leave again, no more visits from caseworkers (those make her understandably very nervous). She's excited.
But she's also under the impression that at her final adoption she'll change into a baby and get to basically start over. (Too much Cinderella and bibbity bobbity boo watching around here maybe) She tells us that she's sad she missed out on being in our family when she was a baby and she wants to "try again."
I'm not entirely sure how to get through to her that it's okay. That we wish she'd been here as a baby too, but we're happy to have her now as a 3 year old. Her past isn't something she likes to talk about, it's been pretty traumatic, and it's hard stuff to swallow for me, a an adult. So it's obviously hard for her to put it all together.
I hate that her first 3 years were not happy years. We hear from her case worker and her baby sister's foster family that it's so nice to see her happy. She talks about being a baby and crying a lot and being scared. I'm sure it's healthy for her to work through some of that, but it's super hard to hear out of my 3 year old's mouth.
So we are looking forward to a finalization day and a chance for her to put her past behind her and feel secure in her home. She likes to say, "I never never have to leave." I think she's starting to believe it.
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