Our Recent Loss

I've thought about blogging our recent adoption loss multiple times and I just couldn't do it.  Maybe my emotions will hold today. 

First of all, I never actually posted about the adoption opportunity that fell in our laps.  I won't go into much detail to keep privacy and confidentiality between us and the potential birth mom we were working with.  But basically, we had a situation fall into our laps through a friend of a family member.  The expectant mom (M) was interested in making and adoption plan with us instead of the abortion appointment she had previously scheduled.  We were elated and very, very excited to be welcoming another baby in October.

However, at about 17 weeks, some complications arose and by 19 weeks, they had escalated to a point where the expectant mom's life and health were in danger.  A decision had to be made and due to her family circumstances and her (and baby's) overall prognosis, baby had to be delivered at just 19/20 weeks. 

Hearing that news was the worst thing in the world.  The news that a baby that would hopefully be ours had now passed away was heart wrenching. Additionally, we still had many concerns for the M's health and her safety. 

We've kept in contact with her and she's kept us updated on her health.  It turns out that the baby had actually stopped growing a few weeks prior to the delivery.  Baby was deprived of oxygen and was not going to make it, regardless of the other complications that led to an early delivery.  After some severe post-delivery, I'm happy to say that M seems to be on the mend and doing ok now.  Please pray for her, as this entire pregnancy and delivery has been extremely challenging in many ways and she could certainly use prayers.

Again, I'm not trying to be cryptic, but we feel as though many of these details are not ours to share, especially publicly on the internet. 

We're just trying to go about our lives with as much grace as possible.  It has affected us deeply and we are very sad and emotional about it still.  As I said, we were incredibly excited to be adding another baby to our family.  We want another baby, but I guess we will have to continue to wait.  We're thankful for the outpouring of support and prayers. We're also very glad we hadn't yet told the kids.  We were waiting until we knew if it was a boy or a girl.  We still don't know and I'm glad this all happened before we told them instead of after.