Birthmom's Day Celebration

So today we went to celebrate Birthmom's Day.  The official day is actually next Saturday, always the Saturday right before Mother's Day. However, the agency's been busy, so they choose this weekend to celebrate the sacrifice Birthmoms go through and the selfless love they have for their children.  We were invited to attend, as were all adoptive couples, those waiting to adopt, birthmom's, families, and the community.

We went and while there weren't very many people there, it was fantastic.  It was kind of our way of saying thanks to R in a way that we can't right now.  And it's so important to support these women and the choices they've made so that they know how valued and respected they are.

They had a birthmom (whose daughter is now 21 and she now has two other children who were there) speak to us about her story.  It was so touching (and I bawled through it all).  In short, her initial reaction was to have an abortion.  However, after some loving guidance from her sister, she decided to place the baby for adoption.  She received updates/pictures/phone calls from the family, but it was always up to the child as to when she actually would meet her birthmom.  One day the child called her.  What she said to her was that she never knew the words to say, but one day she heard a song and it was exactly what she wanted to say.  The song is by Mark Schultz, a Christian singer, and his song is called "Everything to Me".  You see, he was adopted and he wrote this song to his birthmom, even though he never knew her.  Here's a video of the story:  

Then they played the song for us.  Adn again, I bawled.  It's exactly how I want Anna to feel about her birthmom.  It's everything I want her birthmom to know about her life.  It's my new favorite song and it's so touching.

After hearing this lady speak and watching these videos, they gave us balloons to let go.  We were told to write on it anything we wanted and here's our picture!

And then, as if it hadn't been enough of a moving and emotional day, we went grocery shopping.  And while in the checkout at the grocery store, a lady behind me asked if Jeremy (who had walked away for a minute) was my husband.  I said yes, and she then asked if Anna was adopted.  I said yes and she explained that both of her children were adopted as well.  Then, as we were talking, the guy in front of me in the checkout says "I couldn't help but overhear, we adopted our daughter from Ethiopia!"  And then another lady sitting near us said "We do Foster Care and our children were adopted as well!"  Um, weird!  It was really cool to share stories and to see such wonderful happy families all built through adoption.  It was just one of those moments where you ask yourself, did that really just happen? 

What a beautiful and uplifting day!

I hope she knows...

Each and every day I say a prayer (or a hundred) of thanks for the gift of our sweet Anna.  And each and every day when I say those prayers, I think of the sacrifice her birthmom, R, went through in order to ensure that this special gift was proected, loved, and cared for.  There are so many things that I want to say to her, and I fear that I will never get the chance.  I hope in her heart that she knows these things, that somehow she understands.

I want to tell her what a wonderful, sweet, cuddly girl she took such loving care of for 9 months.  I want to show her the smiles that Anna so graciously blesses us with all day long.  I want to tell her about all of the 4-5 month old things Anna is trying to do with her little 7 week old body.  I want her to hear her laugh and coo and squeal in delight.  I want to tell her that she sleeps all through the night most of the time and when she doesn't, she only gets up to eat and goes straight back to sleep.  I want to share with her Anna's love for playing with her daddy and her absolutely delight when we put her in her swing and turn on the mobile.  I want to tell her that Anna is sassy and definitely has a little personality.  I want to show her how she loves to kick her little feet and how she kicks blankets off of her when we put them on her and then squeals like it's the funniest thing ever to her!  I want to tell show her that when Anna's upset, a snuggle from mom is the only thing needed to calm her down.

I want to tell her all of those things and more.  But what I really want to tell her is thank you.  I want to thank her for being so selfless.  I want to thank her for giving this sweet baby life and for loving her so much that she would care for her for 9 months and lovingly place her in the arms of two people who can give her everything.  I want to say thank you for enduring the hurt and pain she goes through each and every day just so this little baby can have a wonderful life in a loving home.  I want to thank her for taking care of herself during those 9 months and making sure that sweet Anna was healthy and well cared for. 

Are there really any words to say to say thank you for giving us our daughter?  Can I even express it and do it justice?  If I get the chance to meet her, will I be able to tell her what she means to our family?  We are eternally grateful for her sacrifice and it brings me to tears to realize the pain she's endured so that Anna can have the life she deserves. 

Her sacrifice reminds me of the sacrifice of our Lord on the cross, as I think about the significance of the next three days in the Church's year.  To lay down one's life for another, to give 100% of yourself for the good of another.  Jesus laid down his life for all of us.  R laid down her life for Anna.  She gave of herself so that another person might live.  I can only hope and pray that in my life I can do the same for my daughter and my husband.  To give of myself so totally and completely so that Anna may grow and live in her faith.

This is my prayer as we embark on the three holiest days of the year.  That I, like Christ, and like R, can lay down my life for my family, loving and serving to bring them closer in holiness.  And that R may know in her heart that her sacrifice has not gone unnoticed and that we are eternally grateful.