Holidays

As we head towards the end of the year and approach multiple holidays, I can't help but think about holidays past. 

Each year, we hoped and prayed for a child.  And each year, the holidays rolled around and it was still just the two of us. 

It really was only 3 years, but it felt like an eternity.  And I hated feeling like I just had to get through them.  Maybe part of it was that we'd been together for so long (we're going on 10 years together).  When you've spent 7 Christmas with just the two of you and you're hoping and praying for a child, another 3 is almost torture.

The holidays were hard.  Being around so much family with so many children around and everyone asking "So when are you guys going to have kids?"  A lot of times, I just wanted to crawl in a hole.  I wanted to shout, "If it were only that easy!"  I usually just said something like "Whenever God blesses us with children."  But what I said in my head was "Mind your own business, it's a very touchy subject!"

Infertility affects you every single day.  And I haven't touched on it much since we've adopted Anna, but that doesn't mean the emotions that come with have gone away completely.  I'm grateful for our daughter, each and every day.  And I feel so blessed to be able to be a part of Adoption.  It is truly a blessing and something I treasure a lot. 

In reality, it's kind of hard to explain.  I don't ever long to be pregnant.  In fact, it was always something that scared me and was never something I looked forward to.  I don't ever long for a child that looks like me.  To me those things have just never mattered.  Infertility affects me in that it takes away all of my control. 

And maybe that's what I need...

So anyway, I didn't mean for this to be a post about infertility, but it's been on my mind lately. 

I'm finally looking foward to the holidays this year.  I look forward to sharing the traditions that Jeremy and I have begun with Anna.  I look forward to making new ones.  I look forward to sharing the birth of Christ with my daughter and helping her understand it in the years to come.  I'm looking forward to eating turkey and stuffing with her on Thanksgiving and teaching her how to take a nice football nap.  I'm looking forward to answering the door tonight with my cute little ladybug and handing out candy.  And I'm looking forward to the focus being on the blessing we've been given through Anna instead of the cross we've been given through infertility. 

And I'm keeping in my prayers all of those who long for a child and are still waiting.  And I pray for patience, hope, and peace.

8 Months Old

Our baby girl is 8 months old today!  Where has the time gone?  She is just such a big ball of fun right now.  Here are some things she's doing:

She's been smiling really goofy lately...

"Here mom, take a picture of giraffe!"

 

- Crawling:  She's been doing this for 2 months now, but boy is she fast all of the sudden!

- Standing:  She pulls herself up on everything and now lets go with both hands! She's stood by herself quite a bit now and will stand until she decides to get down and crawl.  She also tries to stand from a sitting position but hasn't figured that out yet...  it won't be long!

- Cruising:  She walks all over furniture all the time.  She also will walk holding our hands now.  In fact, she walked down the aisle at my sister's wedding with Jeremy holing one hand and me holding the other!  It was super cute!

- Eating:  She eats primarily "real" food now, not pureed stuff.  She doesn't want the purees.  She wants the chunky stuff we're eating.  There's not really anything we don't give her, she'll eat it all!  She hasn't had any food reactions thus far, so hopefully she won't have any food allergies! 

- Growing:  Boy does she do that fast!  She's around 20 lbs (YIKES!)  but seems to be pretty proportionate.  Honestly I think most of her weight is muscle.  She is so STRONG!  Way stronger than most babies her age or older.  I can't believe some of the things she can do/push/pull!  For instance, she loves to open our desk drawer that is filled with files.  It takes a lot of effort for ME to get it open.  She opens it with no problem!  She's well into her 12 month clothes now.  Hopefully she'll spend more time in this size than she did in the last!

- Talking:  This has never been a problem for our Anna!  She LOVES to talk and babbles more now than ever!  Yesterday morning she woke up happily chatting/shouting in her crib.  From then on, she shouted all day long!  She's loud and likes to be the center of attention!

Having a tea party with daddy!  He's the best daddy ever!

Every time she sees the camera, she comes racing towards it... So close-up facial shots are becoming quite common :-)

This one's for Papa, enjoying her Illini basketball!  Ignore the super terribly put together outfit!

Slam dunk!

And finally, as an 8 month old, she already knows the finer things in life.  She absolutely LOVES backrubs from daddy!  They're just too sweet together, I am so blessed!

Family date night

Boy am I glad the good days outweigh the bad days!  Napping seems to be the key componet for me the babies. 

Tuesday was rough, but yesterday consisted of a trip to McD's to play with friends. 

Playing with ribbon off of my sister's wedding gifts.  I told her I'd always take free ribbon!  I love to make bows.  Apparently its good for something else too!

Really good naps.

Lots of smiles and laughs!

And family date night!

Wednesdays are designated as "date nights".  Usually this means that Wednesdays are left open with no other activities.  We eat a dinner together (which happens most nights, but ALWAYS on Wed.).  We usually go somewhere as a family, whether it's to the mall to just walk around, or on a walk, picnic, park, store, wherever, just to get out.  Then when Anna goes to bed, Jeremy and I watch our two favorite shows (which are on on Wed).  It's the one night a week we sit down to watch TV.  We enjoy watching our shows together and simply hanging out.  We usually stay up late talking and although we sometimes regret it Thursday morning, it's so nice to have that time set aside uninterupted.

So last night was one of our family date nights.  We went out for dinner (a big luxury around here).  We went to our favorite little cafe, Cafe Italia.  They have authentic, from Italy, food and its amazingly delicious.  The guys in there know us and although they didn't have gelato last night, we always get some of the straight from Italy gelato.  They're currently moving to a new location (bigger, more seats) to accodate the demand so they'll be closed for a month.  We wanted one more peek of the cafe as it was.  It was really nice and Anna enjoyed the bread big time!  And they gave her some free biscotti to munch on (and more to take home) because they just love seeing her!

Then we wandered around the mall and bought Anna her Christmas present.  It's really early, but it's something she can use now.  It's a little walker/ride on toy.  I had coupons and store credit, so we got it for just $8!  And she's enjoyed it a lot!  And we're going to wrap up the box to put under the tree since she loved the box more than the toy!

Then we went to Confession and Mass at the Newman Center.  We came home, put Anna to bed, and enjoyed our time together!

It was wonderful and just what I needed!

Bad day

Today is not a good day.

Babies being accident prone.

Terrible nap for one and no nap at all for the other.

Scratches on faces.

Crying whenever I stand up or heaven forbid leave the room.

Lots of tears from all of us.

What is the deal?  Why do I feel like I'm failing at this mom/nanny thing today?  Why can't I stop being so frustrated today?  Where did my patience go this morning?

I want snuggles and smiles and giggles and laughs like I get every other day...  And I want to feel like I'm doing my best and giving the kiddos my best... Somehow I can't seem to do that today.

I need to start today over again.

So I'm going to do just that this evening.  It's monthly confession time.  And hopefully we'll have time to stick around for Mass afterwards too...  I need a fresh start today.  Thankfully thorugh Confession and the Eucharist I can get it!

Wedding Weekend

We started off my sister's wedding weekend with guests.  I've mentioned them in the last few posts and it was SOOO great to see them!  Here is a picture recap of our weekend!

From left: Gracie, Anna, Katie, Joey.  Anna thoroughly enjoyed all of the attention.

From left: Joey, Gaby, Gracie, Anna, Katie.  I don't think she got enough attention this weekend!

From left: Me, Joey, Gaby, Gracie, Maggie.  Here I am beating them all at Mari.o Ka.rt

Katie and Anna playing

While I was playing Wii with the big kids, Jeremy was playing "Dinner Party" with the little kids in the playroom.  He really is the best husband and dad ever!

This is our wedding day "before" picture.  We had a little drama that morning with our little flower girl.  Anna woke up with her eye matted shut and she'd been coughing for a few days.  So while I got my hair done, Jeremy, in his tux, took her to the Dr. (who doesn't take walk-ins on Sat but felt bad for a daddy and his clearly sick baby, in a tux, on wedding day).  She had pink eye (the bacterial kind, from her clogged tear duct) and bronchitis (from her allergies settling in her chest).  So after some meds she was just fine and was a perfect angel all day long!  And we made sure she wasn't contagious!

Us and the Seidel family!

Our family!

Daddy and his droopy eyed daughter!

Anna and Katie dancing!

The wedding cake I made for them!

She got very clingy as bedtime came and went.  But as long as she was in my arms, she was a happy girl!  And she was grateful to be out of the dress and in her comfy pjs.

And here's her today, after 12 hours of sleep, she's fully recovered and ready to play!

We are so happy for Sara and Kel!  It was a beautiful wedding and I can't wait to see the photographer's pictures!  We had so much fun and it's so wonderful to see a marriage begin!  Lots of prayers coming your way Sara and Kel!

Friends and Family

My sister gets married tomorrow!  Yay!!!!

And its so great to have our dear friends in town staying with us.  They have 5 children and Jeremy and I used to baby-sit them when they lived here.  They've sinced moved 8 hours away to the very cold state of Minnesota. 

We haven't seen them in a year and a half due to snow storms, flus and babies.  The kids are SOOO BIG!!  Why do they have to grow up so fast? 

It's been so fun to see them, talk to them, catch up.  They'ved loved seeing Anna, especially little Katie (7).  She said she's Anna's new friend.  She was so excited to play with Anna while Anna took a bath last night and she got to read her bedtime stories with Grace (9).  I remember reading them bedtime stories not that long ago.  Now they can read them to my daughter...  It made me tear up a little bit! 

It's just so great to see them.  Our home is filled with girly chatter (they have 4 girls and a boy).  And Joey (11) can't get enough of chatting with the guys and seeing his buddy Jeremy!  Gaby (14) and Maggie (12) are so big now with Gabs in high school and Mags in jr. high!  Gaby will learn to drive in January because she'll turn 15 in dec! 

Not only do we get to spend the weekend with them, but all of our family is coming into town!  We've seen family a lot this year with weddings and 100th birthdays, and we're so excited to see them all again!  We are so blessed to have such wonderful families.  It's always a blast!! 

We're so blessed!

Out

I have a feeling we may not be getting out much during the days as the weather continues to get colder.

I went out this morning (and its 40 degrees) and it consisted of:

Putting on two sets of coats and hats...

Taking off those same coats to put two babies in their carseats...

Putting those same coats back on after getting both babies out of their carseats...

Climbing in the backseat and...

Getting one baby in a sling...

One baby in a stroller...

While trying to make sure they're warm...

And happy...

And that I don't look like a frazzled mess once I get where I was going...

Maybe once one of them starts walking.

Oh yeah, don't forget diaper bags...  And keys...

I have to say, as heavy as they are, it was nice when I had 2 babies in infant carriers with buntings that covered them head to toe! :-)

And I will be very good at the coat/carseat shuffle when (God willing) we're blessed with a second adoption!

And I'm definitely not complaining.  I am joyful that I have a reason to stay in this winter.  I am joyful that instead of running errands, I'm snuggling babies and playing with them and watching them grow!