Who knew our lives would do a total 360 in a matter of hours. Here's the beginning of Anna's adoption story. It all started back in November when we were first identified by a birth mom. After three months of preparation for the coming of our baby boy, he was born on February 7 and he quickly melted our hearts. 24 hours later we were devestated by the news that his birth mom had decided to parent him and we would be going home empty handed and a little upset that God would let something like that happen to us.
We then proceeded to take some time to grieve. It wasn't easy and just when I thought I was "over it" my emotions would take a toll again. I went to the Behold Conference, a conference focused on the dignity and roles of women. It was one of those experiences that allowed me to really think about my emotions and kind of allow them to "do their thing." You see, I don't like to show "weakness". Or at least that's how I perceived it. I don't like to show my emotions and I like to appear strong at all times. It was the first time that I let my guard down and let myself go through the grieving process. I really listened to what the Sisters for Life had to say and their words stuck with me. It is natural, normal, and expected that I should feel like I did, like I had lost a child. I left that day with a renewed sense of hope, hope that God had a plan for our family, a hope that I had lost just a few weeks prior.
And then I continued on with my daily life, taking time to really make meaningful Lenten sacrifices and added prayer into my day.
Little did I know that as I experienced these extreme emotions, there was a woman out there who gave birth to a baby girl, made an adoption plan, chose us without even seeing our profile (she looked at our video only and fell in love) and on Thursday made the hardest, but most selfless decision of her life and she signed away her rights to her child. Thereby giving those rights to us, as the parents she had hand chosen, and that God had hand-chosen, for this child. God created her perfectly and held her lovingly as he guided her birthmom in her decision.
On Thursday at 11:30 I received a phone call that will forever change our lives. Our caseworker called, and quickly told me the reason for her call. A baby girl had been born, we had been identified as her adoptive parents, and her birthmom had already signed her surrenders. She was our daughter and we could come pick her up in just 4 hours. She was unnamed and while the birthmom had mentioned possibly having her first or middle name be a part of our decision, she made sure the decision was ours to make.
In a whirlwind, we made some necessary phone calls and quickly ran to buy anything and everything pink. We were picking up our daugher! Talk about a whirlwind!
When we got to Catholic Charities, our case worker filled us in on some details, letting us know that Anna had been in two different newborn care homes, due to one being on vacation. She was born in Urbana and transferred to the newborn home in Lasalle until surrenders were signed. The foster parents were on their way with her and I had talked with them on the phone some. They had even called when she had cried just to let us hear her! It didn't feel real yet!
Finally they arrived with her. We decided on the name Anna. While we had a different name picked out orginally, we changed our mind. We had prayed a novena to St. Anne, asking for her intercession, that God would bless us with a child soon. The novena ended the day she was born. We had since then continued to ask St. Anne for her intercession and boy were her prayers heard! So we named her Anna, after St. Anne and Clare after St. Clare of Assissi, whose story of strength, trust, and love of the Eucharist is a reminder daily of how our love for God should be. After being in Assissi two years ago, we knew we would name our first daughter after her.
So anyway, I bawled when they handed her to me. SHE. WAS. PERFECT! Everything about her was perfect. What a beautiful gift. The foster parents that had cared for her were beyond wonderful and had only good things to say about our daughter. She was a great sleeper, a great eater, and overall a very content and wonderful baby.
We brought her home and quickly had many visitors. We celebrated her arrival and I spent the entire night looking at her (while she slept through most of it).
As I went through the chain of events in my head, I realized quickly that God had his plan so intricately woven. Had this birth mom contact Catholic Charities months ago, we never could have been Anna's parents. We were out of circulation due to being identified by another birthmom and we went back into circulation the week after our fall-through. However, it had been her plan all along to choose adoption and due to keeping the pregnancy a secret, she had chosen to wait until she was born.
We spoke with our case worker yesterday and she relayed to us that the birth mom's caseworker shared with her the name that we chose and she absolutely loved it. She said it was beautiful and she was overjoyed to hear about us meeting her and how things were going with us. Whiel she's not at a point where she's ready to meet Anna yet, she does want to get to know us in the future and we can't wiat to hear her story and meet the beautiful woman who gave our sweet baby girl life. She gave us the most precious gift and she selflessly chose a path for Anna that she knew would give her the life she deserves. I am eternally grateful for her sacrifice, for the sacrifice of her body for 9 months for Anna, and for her sacrifice of her child so that Anna could have a wonderful life.
I can't even put into words the emotions that run through me when I look at how beautiful, sweet, and wonderful she is. I can't get enough of holding her, kissing her, cuddling her, or seeing her daddy do the same. My heart melts each and every day and while my extra Lenten prayers have been a little neglected, my prayer of thanks is radiating all throughout the day. I would do it all again in a heartbeat, including the 5am ER visit this morning, for that precious girl sleeping next to me right now.
And now less than one week later, we live by Anna's schedule. We wake up with her in the mornings and go to bed with her at night, and we spend all day trying to make sure that she is loved, cared for, happy, and that she knows who her mommy and daddy are. What a difference a week makes!
1 comment:
What a great story, I can totally relate!
She's beautiful!
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