Perspective

It is easy to get lost in your own struggles and trials but often times something happens to someone else and makes you gain a little perspective.  

For instance, we have a few friends who (like us) are in a battle of infertility.  Now let me just say right now that my heart aches when I hear about it.  Not for me, but for them.  I know the struggles that come with it, the emotional ups and downs, the regular hopes that quickly get crushed, and it really hurts me to see others going through those struggles, maybe even more than my own struggles hurt.  My regular emotions have been shifted lately to the struggles of waiting for an adoption.  Now often those infertility feelings and trials perk up and I deal with them at that time, but on a regular basis, my emotions are geared towards an indefinite waiting period...  But I still sympathize greatly with those, especially those close to me, whose struggles with infertility seem never ending, and for some are just beginning. 

So as I was praying, it dawned on me that I have so much to be grateful for, even regarding my infertility. 

First, we were given some kind of definitive answer, not the answer we hoped for but, it still was an answer.  More than likely, we will not be able to get pregnant on our own.  That doesn't mean we may not actively try again in the future, but our chances aren't good...  However, a "No" is easier than a "maybe" (at least for me).
Second, after hearing "No", we knew that our finances were such that we could afford to adopt.  Now that's not to say it's easy for us, we're no millionaires or even thousandaires, but with Jeremy's income where it is, we're able to put all of my income, as irregular as it is, into savings (aka, the adoption fund).  Many others don't have this option, at least not right away, so we are truly grateful for his financial stability.  Third, we are totally settled into our lives in our home.  We have space, we have room to grow, and we have a beautiful neighborhood.  Being settled makes the waiting process that much easier as there is not a lot of stress in that area.  And finally, we are at a point where we know that when the phone call finally happens, all of our ducks are in a row.  I will be able to stay home, my job is such that at a moment's notice, I am available. 

Being the choleric person that I am, recognizing our stability as a family and knowing that whenever God gifts us with a child, we are ready.  It really makes me appreciate what I have, but also makes me feel for those who don't.  My heart and my prayers go out to those who struggle with infertility as it is a battle that I still fight and I don't wish for anyone to go through those struggles.


On a happy note, my basil is sprouting!!!  I haven't killed it yet!!!  In like two-three weeks, I should have some herbs that I can cook with!