Today's rollercoaster

We had quite the day today!  Whew!  For about a week now, we've had plans for another meeting with the birth mom today after her doctors appointment.  We planned accordingly making sure we had the afternoons off and stuff.

Then the snow came and tried to screw it all up!  First of all, I'm pretty sure I received a record number of phone calls in one morning today.  Everyone under the sun called me about something and they were all random things, it wasn't all one person or even one topic!  But that's beside the point.  One of the phone calls was our caseworker calling to tell us that S's caseworker had canceled our meeting for today.  She told us that she wasn't sure why or if it was S or her caseworker that actually canceled it, but she said she'd find out.

Cue intense emotions!  At this point, I just "knew" that everything was going to fall through, surely it was our birth mom that had canceled cause she didn't want to see us anymore and she'd changed her mind and she wanted nothing to do with us and blah blah blah.  I'd pretty much convinced myself the world was ending at this point and was a total wreck, crying and sobbing and stopping only to field more random phone calls (yeah, like the one where my dad was stuck at a gas station because the car key broke... random, and funny!).  So anyway, I was quite a wreck and my week had gone from bad to worse very quickly and I wanted to chuck the phone accross the room.

Then an hour later, our caseworker called back to clarify.  It was actually S's caseworker that canceled because driving in the snow makes her extremely nervous and S still would like to talk to us, so we should go ahead and give her a call.

I quickly laughed at myself for my earlier outburst of emotion and called S.  Now, the last time I called her, it was EXTREMELY awkward.  This time was extremely normal.  We talked a little bit about some stuff and then we decided to go ahead and meet without the caseworkers as we still had the afternoon off, the snow had stopped, and the reports of the roads were clear.  She actually really wanted to see us and she really wanted some social interaction as she's been "a total couch potato" for a few weeks now (her words).

So we drove to meet with her.  And it was awesome!  At this point she is TOTALLY committed to her adoption plan and she is very sure in her reasons and decision to place her son with us.  We had a chance to talk with her one on one and she really opened up to us and talked a lot to us about things going on in her life and stuff.  We also solidified a name with her today and we are both really excited about it, she was honored with the thought we put into the middle name for her!  She also confirmed what she said last time about wanting us at the hospital and wanting me in the delivery room.  She wants us to take him home as soon as he's released.

We also talked a lot about the future and the contact she wants with us.  She really wants to be able to attend his big events, baptism, birthday, adoption party, etc... She also asked if we'd be willing or want to come to her daughter's birthday parties to celebrate with them.  We asked her to write him a letter to read to him all of the time and to hang on his wall and she was very honored and had wanted to do something like that but didn't know if we would want that.

So all in all, it was a fantastic experience to see her by herself, no caseworkers.  After the meeting, we feel very confident about the whole situation.  We really connect well with her and we're confident that this is for real and that it's actually going to happen.  It was really nice and we're so glad we decided to go and that she was up for it.

So two and a half weeks and we hopefully will have a really fun blog post about a our really cute baby!