Someone didn't believe that Mya was my daughter.
We were at one of the water parks and as usual, Mya was throwing a fit that we were leaving. She was trailing a few feet behind me while I pushed the stroller and she was sobbing. It's hard to leave a fun waterpark to go take a nap...
A lifeguard came up to her and asked her where her mommy was and if he could help her find her family. I quickly rushed to her and explained that I was her mom and she was just upset that we were leaving. He looked at me, and looked at her. He stood for a minute and I again explained that she was mine and was just upset about not getting to swim more at the moment.
At that point, another person using the waterpark pointed to our other children (walking ahead of us) and said something about what a beautiful family and how hard it is to leave when you're having so much fun. At that point, the lifeguard let go of Mya's hand and watched us closely as we walked away.
It's been a fear of mine. My kids don't look like me. We keep adoption paperwork in the car just in case. My kids are getting older now and the fear has lessened. They're old enough to say "that's my mom".
Each child has moments where you have to drag them out of somewhere kicking and screaming because they were having fun and the fun had to end. Anna has these moments regularly. Each time, we hold our breath as we wait for someone to rush to her aid as she says "Don't take me! Put me down!"
I'm sure this won't be the last instance. And on one hand, I'm glad for the lifeguard's caution. I don't want my kids walking off with someone else! I can't blame them for thinking that. On the other hand, it's a little frustrating to have to try to prove that I'm their mother. It's just one of those challenges that comes with transracial adoption.
3 comments:
What a smart idea to keep copies of your adoption papers in the car. I'm glad you mentioned it - I'm going to do the same now.
Not being recognized as our kids' parents is also a concern for us. Usually it just comes in the form of "are you a daycare provider?" However, this Spring for the first time someone assumed I was kidnapping my kids at the post office. Awkward. A quick explanation resolved it, but the possibility always makes me nervous, especially since reading the blog of another adoptive family who had to deal with a police response after someone assumed the husband was trying to kidnap their crying daughter from a park. It's very unlikely, but I also worry about the possibility of a stranger trying to walk off with one of our kids and not being able to convince others there's a problem because we don't look alike. Not really a rational worry, but 2 am thoughts rarely are...
That would have been a frustrating situation!!!! Especially because as you mentioned it is a good thing that the lifeguard was making sure that the kiddos were ok, but on the other hand, you are the mom, and you shouldn't have to explain that. Sounds like you handled it well.
I never would have even thought of this. Thank you for shedding light on it. And it seems like you handled it so well, even not being mad at the lifeguard because like you said you don't want your kids walking off with just anyone.
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