Infertility Awareness Week

This week is Infertility Awareness Week. 

Seeing the posts on FB and on blogs got me thinking.  What are 5 things that I wish everyone knew about infertility?

So this week, I'll be posting one thing a day (hopefully, time allowing). 

Today I would like to say that I want people to understand that the pain of infertility doesn't ever go completely away.  Once you've suffered infertility, whether for a year or for a lifetime, that pain is and always will be very real.

I don't usually feel like we're still on an infertility journey.  I don't think about it a lot.  We're not actively trying and we're not seeking medical assistance.  We've left our fertility up to God, and God alone.  We have instead invested our time, energy, and money into adoption.  Adoption has made me a mother.  And for that I am so very grateful.  I have 2 (and hopefully more) precious babies who call me mom (or "ommy" :-))  They've healed my heart in so many ways.  However, they didn't take away the infertility. There will always be pain associated with it.  It will always be a part of me, no matter how many beautiful children come to call me Mama.

A group of my friends does weekly book studies.  They're wonderful women and so inspiring as I strive to always become a better wife and mother.  Last week, I felt that all too familiar sting of infertility.  I don't remember the exact wording and I don't remember what was said about it, but it was something to the effect of parents co-creating with God and that child having a little of each parent inside of them.  That wasn't the point of the chapter, it was a fleeting thought to remind us of how our children are like us and how much they learn from us.  But it stung just a little.  I didn't co-create with God to have my children.  I couldn't. 

In my head, I changed the wording to fit my situation, as I do each and every time something touches me like that.  And sometimes I think, "I wish they'd be more sensitive to those who can't bear children".  And then I remind myself that it's not about how I became a mother, but the fact that God called me to be a mom to these children.  How is he calling me to be the best mom?

But it's times like those that I'm reminded that there will always be those moments that sting.  And I'd like for people to recognize that just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I'm not still sensitive to my infertility.