Getting ready

I never got a chance to go into "nesting" mode with Anna.  She came so suddenly, that what was done, was done and what wasn't, well, it stayed undone for a long time.  I did "nest" with our first adoption situation but I didn't really know what needed done.

This time around, I am in full out cleaning and organizing and purging mode.  I've been in that mode for weeks, but it's kicked into high gear the last few days.  I'm getting rid of so much that we no longer need to make room for what we hopefully need very soon :-). 

And at the same time I'm reserved.  I mentioned it in my Quick Takes, but I'm scared of a fallthrough.  I'm scared of aquiring all this boy stuff only to have the birthmom choose to parent.  And on one hand, I've thought that I'd be better off going about as normal and not getting any baby stuff our or really preparing in any way.

And then I sat in Adoration for a few minutes on Sunday (as long as I could sit with a squirmy toddler).  I realized that God was asking me to put my whole heart back into the adoption process.  While of course, we were 100% ready to be back in circulation, I hadn't yet allowed myself to get my hopes up.  I need to let my guard down and allow myself to have that hope.

So I'm cleaning.  And I'm organizing.  And I'm purging.  And I'm praying that all goes smoothly and quickly.

And I'm extremely nervous about our birthmom meeting tomorrow.  I've done it before, but maybe that's what makes me nervous.  I don't want this situation to be like that one.

So if you get a chance, say a few prayers for us and for the birthmom and baby tomorrow.  I hope that I'll feel more at ease after meeting her and talking with her.  I'm extremely excited to develop a relationship with her, I want that so bad with Anna's birthmom.  But that doesn't make me less nervous.